Years ago, I was in a marriage that wasn’t going very well. My husband and I both knew exactly what was wrong with the other, and we didn’t waste any time telling each other when the opportunity arose. After each new disagreement, I would call my friends to complain about the situation. They would listen and empathize with me, often sharing their mate’s flaws, building bonds of mutual discontent and disappointment.
Looking for help, my husband and I went to therapy. But there again, we would focus on our problems and the roles we each were playing in the disintegration of our marriage. When I was by myself, I would spend hours analyzing the dysfunctions of our relationship, justifying and amplifying my anger and dissatisfaction. Sadly, we never learned how we might turn things around and ended up getting divorced.
It was while working through the aftermath of this breakup, that I learned about the Law of Attraction and the concept that the more you focus on a topic the more you get of the same. This discovery eventually brought relief and a new understanding of tangible steps and actions I could take whenever it felt like some part of my life was unraveling.
So when I began to date again, I wanted to try telling a different story and started with completing my profile for an online dating site. But when the questions asked about the qualities of who I wanted to meet; I found that I could say exactly what I didn’t want, and could elaborate in great detail about how aggravated those to be avoided flaws made me. It took great effort and many re-writes before I was able to break from my old patterns and describe with some detail, the positive attributes of the person I was seeking.
As you can see from the photo, today I am very happily married to the man I met from my ad. I attribute our success largely to the fact that we make a point of appreciating each other’s positive qualities and spend little time belaboring the negatives. So now when something annoys us, we can discuss it, without becoming offensive. We have both found that there is more joy in the expression of what we love about each other rather than pointing out the other’s faults. I feel a deep sense of gratitude for this new experience of a relationship.
So today I invite you to start telling a new story about an area in your life to which you have devoted a lot of negative attention. Spend time describing in detail what you would like to experience. Then let yourself revel in how good it feels when imagining living the best life you can dream. Finally, take a few minutes everyday, and tell your self this new story, adding details as they become clearer. The more often you can do this, the easier it will become to let go of the old story. The positive energy you set free with these actions will open the space needed for attracting whatever it is you want to experience in your life.